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Post by Peanut Loves EVERYONE!! on Jan 31, 2012 6:11:40 GMT -5
I grinned, and laughed as Sasha jumped the bootom of the hill and took off. Gus snatched the bit, lowered his head, and surged after her. I let out a whoop of laughter, then leaned forward, standing in my stirrups and giving Gus his head, my legs flapping at the gelding's sides. Gus didn't need much encouragement though; he bolted after Sasha like she'd stolen something. I felt Gus' muscles surge under me as he powered along, rapidly gaining on the golden mare. "Come on, faster!" I called down to him. His ears pressed flat against his skull, Gus leaned into the wind and somehow shot forward with more speed. It was as if he wanted to catch Sasha more than I wanted to win. I could hear his breath, snorting at each stride loudly. I laughed, and whooped again. "Go boy, go!" I yelled as the chestnut drew up alongside Sasha and powered ahaead of her, his hooves churning up the ground. I knew Sasha would probably get her lead back in an instant, but I was glad that we'd passed her at all. Still, I kept niggling at Gus, urging him forward with my legs, hands and wordless cries of encouragement.
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Post by KM loves MUSIC and PEANUT!!!! on Jan 31, 2012 6:35:15 GMT -5
Sasha snorted and whipped her head as they gained on us. I could just imagian her saying. Oh that does not fly with me. She snorted and surged forward almost shooting out from under me when they passed us. She started snorting in frustration and galloped harder, she was crazy when others got ahead of her. I leaned over her neck and whispered, "wild wind time." She flicked her ears up and then back to me and shot like a golden bullet, that word only worked when I said it because I always said it when I was breezing her out here. Her feet moved so fast I didn't think you see them, I lowered myself to my seat and her neck avoiding the horn and held on for dear life. She had never ran this fast with me before, this felt like an uncontrolable speed that I didn't thick she would be able to stop from very fast. As her feet moved forward and she surged past Will, I felt her muscle tighten as she jumped forward and landing at an even faster speed. I had to hold tightly to my horn cause I was not used to this amount speed she was nuts! She really wanted to smoke them, I didn't really care I was just foucused on keeping my butt in the saddle and my feet in the stirrups.
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Post by Peanut Loves EVERYONE!! on Jan 31, 2012 6:49:07 GMT -5
I nearly dropped my jaw in shock as Sasha and Kesha shot past us. The mare's legs were almost a blur, she was running so fast. Gus squealed in frustration and bolted forwards again, determinedly galloping after Sasha. I didn't think he'd ever catch her, but I kept urging him on. I saw Kesha clinging to her saddle horn and laughe, obviously she hadn't been prepared for her mare's enthusiasm. "Having a good time?" I called to her over the roar of the wind, laughing. I dug my heels into Gus' sides, but he was already finding some small part inside him to summon up another gear. His legs churning, Gus slowly ate up the ground, gaining on Sasha by inches. "Are you really gonna get beaten by two girls?" I muttered to him. In reply, Gus kicked it up a notch, his chestnut mane streaming into my face as he ran for his life. We somehow caught up to the two speedsters again, but this time we couldn't pull ahead. Gus was labouring now, eating up all his energy just keeping stride with Sasha. I had no doubt he'd somehow catch her again if she pulled ahead though, this was one fight Gus didn't want to lose! I knew that even if I pulled him back he wouldn't slow, even for his own good. "Think this might be a match race!" I called to Kesha with a grin, kneading my hands along Gus' neck as he powered along.
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Post by KM loves MUSIC and PEANUT!!!! on Feb 1, 2012 0:03:58 GMT -5
I narrowed my eyes at Will and found my rythem with Sasha again. I leaned over her neck asking for more speed, it wasn't much she gave more. I looked to Will smiled and said. "Yupp!" I sat back a little and got in a few good kicks at her sides and then I leaned forward flicking the reins at her neck. She snorted and ran as fast as she knew she could with me on her. I knew with Trish or Barbie she would be able to run like a champ cause they were used to top notch racers. I leaned down over her neck and looked to Will and said. "Maybe but I think Sash has other ideas!" I called to him just Sasha found the inspration to pull ahead by barely anything but she did put Gus's head at her girth right before her shoulder. I Couldn't believe how fast she was I mean I knew she was fast but this was amazing! As we ran the lsat few feet of the flatt Sahs started to breath a little harder but was still barely sweating. I smiled and knew that all the other horses weren't even as close as to condtioned as her. As we reached the end I pulled Sasha up but in order for her to stop she had to skid, bounce, rear and buck a few times to slow down enough to even stop. I smiled and looked back at Will with a smile. "She's faster then I thought!"
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Post by Peanut Loves EVERYONE!! on Feb 1, 2012 6:42:06 GMT -5
I laughed as somehow Sasha puled ahead even more. Gus was straining now, overworking himself just to keep up. "Easy bud, you've lost this one," I said with a laugh, trying to pull him back. Gus' ears flared backwards and he seized the bit, bolting hard to finish. "Fine, or not," I grinned, pushing him on. As Sasha slowed to a stop by skidding, bucking and bouncing, Gus easily slammed on hisbrakes and slid to a stop, sliding a god few yeards past the others. I grinned and turned him back around, then stopped him. His head hung low, his sides having as he fought for breath. "You idiot, Gus," I laughed. "It isn't the end of the world to lose!" I turned to Kesha and grinned, nodding. "She's a rocket!" I exclaimed, laughing. "I can't believe Gus even caught up with her that far!" I was super proud of my gelding, he hadn't even lost by a length! I leaned down and rubbed his lathered shoulder, glowing with pride. "Sasha sure doesn't like letting anyone ahead of her," I laughed to Kesha. "She's barely even puffing! Poor Gus is about to have a heart attack," I said, chuckling. I heard an indignant braying, and looked up to see Jewel madly galloping towards us from the distance. Eventually she caught up, reared, and promptly bit down on my boot. "Oi! Ya little devil!" I growled at her. She braye again, her long ears flapping, then trotted off to graze. I rolled my eyes and laughed, then turned to Kesha. "Is there a stream or something around that they could drink from?" I asked. Gus was super exhausted after that run, but a bit of rest and a drink and he'd be right as rain and ready for round two.
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Post by KM loves MUSIC and PEANUT!!!! on Feb 1, 2012 22:19:05 GMT -5
Sash whipped her head and neighed, I rolled my eyes thinking that it sounded like she was gloating over him that she was able to win and he wasn't. "Ya know Sash I was wrong your not just a sore loser your a sore winner too!" I said patting her on the neck and looked to Will with a smile. "Yupp she's got a lot of power in her short legs that's for sure." I said rubbing her neck with love, she meant the world to me and I couldn't even think of living without her or a peace of her. I laughed and nodded. "Yeah he's pretty dang fast too! And she's barely puffing because she has run this streach like two to three times a day for about three months. She's used to it." I said with a smiled ruffling her mane. I laughed and added. "He runs this course a few more times and he will be racing like a pro." I said with a small smile. I laughed at Jewel and looked around thinking of the surrounding area, "yeah about fifty feet this way." I said asking Sasha to walk on, she did as told but not before trying to trot a few times. "Girl you ever run out?" I asked patting her neck, she snorted and whipped her head. Soon we found the brook that ran through this area as soon as we got there though Sasha stomped right into it and started splashing with her foot. I looked to Will and grinned. "Mustang habit she picked up before coming off the wild lands." I said with a smile.
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Post by Peanut Loves EVERYONE!! on Feb 1, 2012 23:38:34 GMT -5
I laughed as Kesha spoke to her mare, and smiled. I laughed proudly when she said Gus was fast. "I didn't actually think he'd come close to her," I admitted ruefully, laughing. "But he can be quick when he wants to. That's not a bad little stretch," I said, smiling. I nudged Gus into a walk and followed Kesha and Sasha, laughing as the golden mare tried to trot. Gus walked meekly along, still trying to catch his breath. He wasn't huffing so bad now, but he was still super sweaty. I smiled as we reached the brook and Sasha waded right in. Gus followed her lead, walking into the water and lowering his muzzle, drinking deeply. I laughed as Sasha started spraying water everywhere, and grinned to Kesha. "Gus does that too," I said, laughing. Jewel stood on the bank, braying like a mad thing. "She hates water," I explained, poking my tongue out at the filly. Gus finished drinking for now, and began pawing excitedly at the water. I rolled my eyes and laughed. "I just hope he doesn't try to roll," I grinned to Kesha. "That's one of his habits too, whether he has a rider or not!"
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Post by KM loves MUSIC and PEANUT!!!! on Feb 2, 2012 4:03:24 GMT -5
I smiled and tilted my head to the side. "I thought he would keep up, he was wicked fast at those barrels." She said with a small smile, and then added. "Yeah I can tell. And yupp one of my favortite places to come." I smiled and rubbed Sasha's now soaked neck. I smiled when Gus started doing the same thing as Sash, I smiled and kicked Sash forward to keep her from rolling with me, she got a bit home sick sometime and loved to roll in the water. I laughed at Jewel and said to Will, "oh really? I couldn't tell." I smirked as Sash dropped her head and flung water at Will and Gus. I laughed and shook my head getting ready to say something when she did it again. "Oh! He rolls too! Sash tries that all the freaking time!" I laughed sitting deep in my saddle hopping to keep Sash on her feet. Sash snorted and whipped her head flinging water all over the place from her wet mane. I snorted and said. "Yeah thanks for for the show Sash."
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Post by Peanut Loves EVERYONE!! on Feb 4, 2012 19:58:20 GMT -5
I grinned to Kesha and laughed. "He can definitely move sometimes," I said with a smile. I laughed, not doubting for a moment that Kesha love that run. Sasha obviously did too. I decidd that whenever I had the chance, I'd take Gus there and let him run. Hopefully once he built up his endurance he might even beat Sasha one day. I smiled at the thought, and rubbed the gelding on the neck. I glanced back at Jewel, and grinned to Kesha's sarcastic comment. "Yeah, everything else she's fine with, but water is a no-go," I laughed. Jewel paced back and forth, frantically calling at Gus. "She thinks the puddle monsters are gonna eat us," I laughed to Kesha. "She's never calm while Gus is in the water. Even being hosed down she freaks out." I waved at the filly, wiggling my fingers at her. Jewel bucked and brayed, coming near the water then backing away, her ears flapping every time she called out. I laughed as Sasha sprayed us with water, and then felt the tell tale sign of Gus about to roll. His pawing at the water stopped, and I felt a lurching motion as he dropped to his knees. I kicked my feet out of the stirrups and jumped for it, landing on my butt in the water and dunking myself for a second before I turned upright. I stood in the water, hands on hips, and watched as Gus lay in the water, drenching my saddle. I turned to Kesha and raised my eyebrows. "Yep. He rolls too..." I said. I couldn't help laughing as Gus stopped rolling and just lay in the water, his head and neck sticking up. He nickered happily, and I rolled my eyes, going over and grabbing the reins to pull him to his feet. "You're gonna wreck that saddle, Gu," I complained. I'd lost count of how many times he'd drenched it.
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Post by KM loves MUSIC and PEANUT!!!! on Feb 5, 2012 3:53:02 GMT -5
I smiled and nodded. "I can tell." I said smiling at him, I couldn't stop smiling and right now not even thoughts of my dad could hurt me. I smiled wide and smacked Sash's neck lovingly, I rubbed both my hand up her neck and then ran them through my hair making it damp. I sighed and leaned back in my saddle today felt so freaking good I couldn't believe how much fun I was having this was amazing. I laughed and leaned my horn when Will explained about Jewel. "Okay... That's weird and funny at the same time." I said tilting my head to the side a bright smile, I couldn't think of one other time that I had been this happy. I laughed more when she bucked and ran away from the water. "Okay and add cute to that too." I said rubbing Sasha's neck. I almost choked on a laugh when Gus dropped to his knees, I opened my mouth and tilted my head backwards. "Oh man that sucks for you!" I said to Will shaking my head with a small smile. "But it gave me a good laugh." I said laughing, I was just teasing almost everyone knew when I was doing so. Sash pawed the water wanted to roll too. "Oh no you don't little girl!" I said jerking Sasha out of the water and up onto the bank. "well my saddle survived today, yours on the other hadn though doesn't look as lucky." I said with a smile. Today had been fun and I considered taking off Sasha's saddle and letting her back into the water. But then thought nah... "Hey you wanna see some place really cool sometime? Its to long a ride today but it is really cool and fun." I said hopping he'd wanna go.
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Post by Peanut Loves EVERYONE!! on Feb 5, 2012 4:15:44 GMT -5
I mock glared at Kesha when she laughed at me, and led Gus out of the water, dripping wet. He shook himself off like a dog, and I laughed. Jewel cantered up to him, nuzzling his sides and making little reassuring baby noises. "See, Jewelly? He's okay," I said to her with a laugh. Turning to Kesha, I poked my tongue out at her, grinning. "Glad that it amused you," I muttered darkly, my eyes sparkling with mirth. I laughed again and tried to scrape most of the water off my saddle, then gave up. I swung myself back up onto the big gelding, and watched as Kesha guided Sasha out of the water. "Next time, feel free to dunk her," I said, speaking to Kesha's mare. I smiled then, and nodded to Kesha. "Yeah..it'll dry out soon enough," I said, chuckling. I nodded happily to her, another smile spreading across my face. "I'd love to!" I said quickly. Almost a little too quickly, maybe. I gave Gus a squeeze with my legs to walk him forwards, then turned back to Kesha. "Where is it?" I asked her, curious now. I was itching to see all the different places around here, and although I probably wouldn't admit it, I wanted to spend more time with this crazy girl.
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Post by KM loves MUSIC and PEANUT!!!! on Feb 5, 2012 4:34:28 GMT -5
I rolled my eyes and laughed watching Jewel. I patted Sash's neck and put on a very serious face and said. "Yes, yes it did amuse me." I tried to keep a straight face but started smiling on did and then burst out laughing by time I finished. I rolled my eyes and added, "oh and the sticking out the tongue thing is just a five year old thing to do." I said and then laughed rolling my tongue over my bottom lip as I laughed. Sash snorted and whipped her head and then neighed, "well thank you Sash at least you think I'm funny!" I watched him swing up into his saddel and then fake growled and glared at him when he told Sash to dunk me and after he said it she neighed and bobbed his head. "Sasha! You agree with him?" I said slapping her neck lightly. "You turned my horse against ma." I said laughing not even being able have even the slightest of straight faces when I said it. I smiled wide happy that he said he would love too. "Great!" I said and asked Sash to walk along side him. "Umm... its way up on the ridge so its kinda of a long ride and to get there and then back here it would be late and dark its a real long ride. The only way I have ever made there and back in one day was with no stops at a canter. I always go there though to spend the night its real fun. I think I'm the only one who knows where it is." I said smiling I had never seen anyone else up there or signs of others up there. "So you game? We could go in a few days since I got work and I gotta help Lucy out at the tack shop too." I said with a sigh, man I hatted work.
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Post by Peanut Loves EVERYONE!! on Feb 5, 2012 5:09:07 GMT -5
I grinned as Kesha burst out laughing, chuckling to myself. "Glad to be the entertainment," I said, giving a little bow. I smiled, and couldn't get the stupid grin off my face as she kept laughing. "I'm just a child at heart," I laughed in response to her comment, pretending to be offended. I burst into laughter as she growled at me, and grinned when Sasha bobbed her head up and down. "Course she agrees with me," I said with a grin. "The ladies all fall over themselves to take my side." I laughed then, feeling the happy mood spread like it was contagious. I nodded, a smile on my face as I listened to Kesha explain the destination. "Wow!" I said to her, impressed. "Sounds romantic," I teased, winking to let her know I was kidding. Well...kinda kidding. I grinned when she asked if I was game. "Do I look game to you?" I asked, laughing. Gus whinnied loudly, whipping his head and breaking into a little trot. I grinned, pulling him back. "That's Gus' version of hell yeah!" I said to Kesha, grinning from ear to ear.
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Post by KM loves MUSIC and PEANUT!!!! on Feb 5, 2012 6:19:04 GMT -5
I smirked at him and flicked my head to the side. "Yeah well you should feel honored, not many people amuse me." I said and then laughed again I could never pull off the serious thing when I was hyper and goofy. I rolled my eyes and said. "Whatever little boy." I said in respond to him and laughed at how untrue I really thought that statment was but it was funny to say. I tilted my head to the side and twisted my lips into a sneer and said, "if that were true why don't I agree with you? Huh?" I grinned and raised my eyebrows, I felt so light and happy today it was amazing. I laughed and fell back on Sash and sat up whiping my hair out of my face, I smiled at his reaction to the spot I described. "Yupp wows the right answer." I said with a smirk and then smiled and rolled my eyes. "Hmm... guess it is, if romantic was a two or three hour long ride that can igure your butt and has tons of little bitting bugs that iche." I said laughing and then smirked, "just kidding bout the bugs part... Well kinda." I said laughing more, actually his comment and made me a little... soft and maybe a little more silly. I laughed at Gus and said. "Well then I am glad that I have his approval then." I said it with a smile and a sigh. This day had been great but now even though it was a joke I couldn't get his comment out of my head and it was already annoying me.
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Post by Peanut Loves EVERYONE!! on Feb 5, 2012 6:41:59 GMT -5
I grinned to Kesha, laughing. "Oh, trust me. I'm honoured," I said, still laughing. I grinned and just shook my head at the little boy remark, amused. Kesha sure was in a happy mood. I turned to her and laughed, smirking. "Obviously you ain't a lady then," I drawled, chuckling. I grinned to her and laughed again. "If it's only a two or three hour ride then how come it takes you all day to get there?" I asked, teasing. "I'm up for sore butts and biting bugs! Bring it on!" I smiled deviously and kicked Gus into a trot, energetic now. The gleding snorted but obliged, prancing along like the mood was settling in on him too. I gae him a pat on the neck and grinned at Kesha's comment. "Yeah, Gus will approve of anyone or anything that involves running. And he gets to spend time with your pretty lady horse," I added, chuckling to myself. I turned back to call out to Jewel, slapping my thigh to get her attention. "Hey kid! Get over here!" I shouted to her. Her lng, fuzzy ears pricked up and she galloped over to us, bucking and chucking a fit. I laughed and leaned down to rub her soft head as we trotted along. "You're crazy Jewel, you know that?" I cooed to her, smiling. This happy mood had me all soft and squishy on the inside. I relaxed in my saddle, enjoying the sun and the ride.
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Post by KM loves MUSIC and PEANUT!!!! on Feb 5, 2012 7:02:40 GMT -5
I smiled tilting my head to the side and said, "well good you should be." I laughed and rolled my eyes at myself beofre asking Sasha to keep up with him. "Okay if we weren't horses I would compelled to punch you." I said and actually managed to keep a stright face before grinning. "I was joking but I have been told I have one heck of a right hook." I said with a grin. As we trotted along I thought of everything that happened today and didn't know how it could any better. I laughed and said. "Cause its a three hour ride both ways at a canter the enire time. If you were walking it would most likely be a very long ride up and be about an hour or so before dark by you got even half way down and its to far to gallop a horse." I said with a smile, "good glad your up for it, you may wanna bring a donut." I said laughing and wondered if he understoon that I meant the ones for your rear end. I laughed watching the crazy little Jewel. I smiled and then thought of riding up there with Will and that memory triggered something I had buried long ago. I shook my head trying to get him out of my head, I didn't need this right now another guy from my past popping up in my head when I had been so happy, but things he had put me through made me think twice about letting Will into my life. (the that messed her up is one of the three I mentioned in the Cbox )
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Post by Peanut Loves EVERYONE!! on Feb 5, 2012 7:29:02 GMT -5
I grinned to Kesha and rolled my eyes at her. This ride was just so...fun. I smiled to myself, happy. I turned to her and barked a laugh. "Oh, I'm shaking with fear," I said sarcastically. I laughed to her and then nodded. "I don't doubt that for one second," I grinned. She'd probably knock me out of my saddle if she wanted to. I grinned to myself and laughed at what she said. "Lucky for me Gus is a fit little thing," I said, grinning. "Before we leave we're gonna somehow have to find a way to keep Jewel locked up. No way it'd be fun with her for three hours," I laughed, smiling down at the little donkey. I looked up at Kesha when she made the donut comment, trying to decide what she was talking about. By the look on her face it wasn't the kind you eat. I grinned and burst out laughing at her, shaking my head. "Oh wow," I said, between fits of chuckles. "Didn't see that coming at all," I laughed. I smiled as we trotted along, getting excited for this ride. I couldn't wait for the time to come around. I glanced over at Kesha and smiled to myself, a warm feeling spreading through me. I laughed at my own emotions and gave Gus a longer rein, letting him stretch out his neck as we continued towards home.
(OOOH which one?!)
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Post by KM loves MUSIC and PEANUT!!!! on Feb 5, 2012 7:42:36 GMT -5
I laughed and said. "Yeah ya better be scared." I laughed and shook my head at myself this was crazy! I was having so much but that little nagging thought of him lingered in my mind trying to ruin this day. I thought a moment to myself and then laughed and nodded. "Yeah well he better be it a long trip up hill." I said with a smile, I knew the trail very well, and then something else hit me. What was Lucy gonna do to him? She didn't like me having guy friends of any sort, just friends or boyfriends, so I started to worry that my sister was gonna go MMA on his butt. I chuckled at my thoughts and then realized he had answered my comment, I laughed and shook my head. "Yeah and I was onlt half joking!" I exclaimed and laughed more. I smiled and lightly laughed again, who knew I could have such a great time with someone I just met today. Life sure was weird and because I was nervous about everything that happened I wondered if life was gonna pull another fast one on me and ruin this too. I smiled and nodded said. "Yeah and about Jewel that trek up hill that far might not be that good for her either." I said thinking of steep it was but funner then heck riding up. (hmm... not telling yet but its not Robby )
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Post by Peanut Loves EVERYONE!! on Feb 5, 2012 19:08:41 GMT -5
I chuckled to myself at Kesha's comment, and smiled to myself. I was having a truck load of fun today. It seemed like Gus was too, since he kept trying to tank off instead of trotting along normally. I smiled and then laughed to Kesha. "He loves hills," I said to her, smiling. It was true; Gus was a trooper when it came to uphill rides. He might not get there the fastest, but he'd get up without complaining. I grinned to her and then laughed, rolling my eyes. I smiled and looked around, letting my mind wander. I thought about everything that had happened today and decided it was definitely one of the best days I'd had. Bringing Gus back into fast work, meeting Kesha, and then this ride...Yep, today was definitely awesome. I nodded absentmindedly at Kesha's words, and spoke a mumbled "Mhmm," of agreement. That was another thing I'd havr to think about; how to keep Jewel occupied while we were gone. No doubt Jewel would somehow get out within a few hours, but as long as she stayed at the stables I was fine with that. What I didn't want was to get back from an exhausting long ride and then have to spend hours looking for a lost donkey filly. Gus snorted and tossed his head, jolting me out of my thoughts, and I laughed. A dragonfly had landed right on his poll, and its legs were tickling his face. I leaned forwards and brushed it away, smiling as I watched it fly off through the trees. "You're a sook, buddy," I laughed to the chestnut, shaking my head with a smile.
(Pffft....I cant remember the other names :L )
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Post by KM loves MUSIC and PEANUT!!!! on Feb 6, 2012 21:44:07 GMT -5
I smiled and looked around thinking and then grinned. "Good cause it'll be on long ride up and down." I said with a grin and patted Sasha's neck, I laughed and rubbed her neck again. I sighed in content and relaxed in my saddle today felt good and relaxing, there was np pressure to tell Will what had happened and so far he hadn't noticed my scar and that made me happy. I looked up at the sky a moment and felt sash pull her head forwards. I absently pulled her head back and looked ahead of me. Today had been god but some part of me was sitting there nagging at the back of my mind almost screaming at me. 'It started out fun the other way too! Yiou had a wonderful time with him right before he screwed you up and messed with your head.' I couldn't help but shudder ever slightly at the thought of this and my mind a point at that, last time I had let someone in they used me and threw me, he had twirled me around his finger and then practically destroyed me, I glanced at Will and wondered if he could or ever would hurt someone on purpose for no apparent reason for it. I Luahged and looked ot Gus when the dragon fly landed on his head. I sighed again and pulled Sasha to a walk and slouched in my saddle feeling relaxed and in a very good mood.
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Post by Peanut Loves EVERYONE!! on Feb 7, 2012 1:32:28 GMT -5
I laughed, and relaxed with a grin. "Good, I look forward to it," I said with a laugh. I smiled to myself as we rode along, then looked to Kesha. "It's nice being able to just ride out here for fun without focusing on anything," I said, smiling. "If that even makes sense," I added with a chuckle. I glanced away again and looked back behind me, making sure Jewel was still following along. Satisfied, I looked forwards again, smiling to myself. My cheeks were starting to get sore from grinning like an idiot so much. I looked over to Kesha, about to say something else to her, when I saw her shudder, almost like a bad thought was niggling at her. I frowned, worried. "You alright?" I asked her, concerned. She looked like there was a battle going on in her head. I saw her glance at me, like she was sussing me out or something, and frowned again. I looked away, then back at her, happy thoughts replaced by concern and anxiety. I copied when she slowed Sasha down to a walk, ignoring Gus' head pulling and straining at the bit. "What's up?" I asked Kesha gently. She'd probably brush it off as nothing, but I was worried now. I'd had pretty much the best day, and I couldn't think of anything that would have made her upset.
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Post by KM loves MUSIC and PEANUT!!!! on Feb 7, 2012 2:45:56 GMT -5
I smiled and nodded. "You better be." I said teasingly and then added, "yeah it is nice not having to focuse on anything really importent..." I said fading off looking at the horses neck, I licked my lips and said. "I just wish you could not focuse on your thoughts once in a while." I mumbled still looking at my mares neck. Life had thrown me to many curv balls not to be wary and a little timid about certain things. To everyone even my sister I was the happy girl who put stuff behind her and never looked back because that was how I wanted it, no one knew that the only person I had ever let see the real me betrayed me and used my life against me, no one knew that the real me feared that someday everyone and everything I loved would either leave or betray me. I nearly fliched when he asked me if I was alright. I smiled and looked to him and thought a moment. "Umm... yeah I guess so..." I said looking back to Sasha's neck. And after he asked that question I felt all jittery and nervous that he would see my scar and I wondered how I would respond to that. I shrugged at his question and said. "To many bad memories picking today to replay..." I fadded still looking down, why did life always make be me remember the bad times when I was so happy.
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Post by Peanut Loves EVERYONE!! on Feb 7, 2012 2:59:10 GMT -5
I looked at Kesha worriedly, and then sighed. "Okay," I said quietly, looking away. I'd kinda figured she would say she was okay, although I knew she obviously wasn't. Looking back on it, it was kinda fair enough that she didn't wanna talk. I mean, we'd only just met today, so why would she tell me about what was bugging her? I rode in silence for a while, purposefully not looking over at Kesha. Gus started prancing, sidestepping and fidgeting under me, and I forced myself to unclench my hands and relax. "Sorry bud," I mumbled to him, staring off into the distance. Even Jewel galloping past us with her ears flapping couldn't bring a smile to my face. I sighed again to myself, and couldn't understand why I was so frustrated all of a sudden. I just felt like snapping at someone, or hurling myself onto my bed and curling into a tight ball. I frowned, glaring down at Gus' neck and trying to rid my head of the million thoughts swirling around. "You know, nobody can help if you don't tell them what's wrong," I muttered, just ld enough for Kesha to hear. I knew she would say nothing was wrong, that she was fine, but I knew something was bugging her. Since I'd asked if she was okay, she'd been tense and fidgety, like she was hiding something. "And fine if that someone isn't me...but you should tell somebody. Whatever it is is eating you up inside, and don't deny it." I shut my mouth then, staring away from her and looking down the trail. I chewed the inside of my mouth to shreds, wanting to apologise for sounding grouchy, but I was determined to stick to my guns. I wanted to know what could ruin such a perfectly good day in a matter of moments. And I wanted Kesha to feel better.
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Post by KM loves MUSIC and PEANUT!!!! on Feb 7, 2012 4:21:01 GMT -5
I almost growled at myself in annoyance for causing this awesome day to be ruined. I sighed, bit my lip and looked down at my saddle horn. I blew out a long breath and listened to him talk, it didn't upset her or annoy her but it made her mad at herself for ruining his day. She ran her fingers through her hair and sighed again trying to herself from growling out something at myself. Sash whipped her head and felt like she had gotten a little stiff, and I leaned forward and patted her neck. "Hey sorry girl." I looked back at the sky and thought about everything he said and bit my lip again. I licked my bottom lip and thought of what to do, what was I supposed to do? Was I supposed to snap at him? Or tell him it wasn't any of his bussiness? Or was I just supposed to be honest? I couldn't tell him about what I was really upset about, I couldn't even talk to Lucy about that. I swallowed hard and thought about what to say and looked around trying to keep my mind off of it and think of anything to say that might just change the subject, but he wasn't wrong and I never tried to deny it before so why start now. "Yeah okay your right, there are things that bother me and never will stop bothering me. And I have talked to someone before... But let me ask you one thing." I said keeping my voice down and not looking at him. "Have you had someone who knew everything about you and knew every secret about inside and out and then they use it against you." I said, I didn't sound angry or bitter just quiet. "I tried talking before hiding it is easier and doesn't give you as pain." I said and then I looked at him, "sorry for turning this day into a miserable wreck." I pulled my lips together and waited for his reply. It wasn't just other people who had messed up my life but me myself had done it before too.
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Post by Peanut Loves EVERYONE!! on Feb 7, 2012 4:34:25 GMT -5
I blatantly ignored the screaming voice inside my head telling me to apologise or tell Kesha not to worry. I wanted her to feel better, I wanted her to get whatever it was out. I watched the ground as we slowly rode towards home, and only glanced up when Kesha began to speak. I looked over to her, the worry probably still etched on my face. I still didn't fully understand why I was this interested in what was wrong. I barely even knew the girl for crying out loud. But everyone deserved a chance to be heard, and I wasn't going to be the one to turn that away. I strained to hear her voice as she spoke, it was so quiet. I gave Gus a squeeze and pushed him closer to Sasha, so I could hear better. I was quiet for a moment after Kesha spoke, and didn't meet her eye as I mulled over her question. Finally, I looked up, and shook my head. "No," I said simply. "Nobody's ever cared enough to get to know me that well." I sighed as I realised I'd probably just made her feel worse by making her think about whatever had happened. From what she'd said, I still couldn't even nearly comprehend what had happened in Kesha's past. "Hiding it might ease the pain...But it'll never go away unless you accept what's happened," I said quietly. "Sometimes you have to embrace the pain for a while before it'll go away." I looked away, and then back to Kesha when she apologised for ruining the day. I uttered a dry laugh. "This has been one of the best days I can remember," I said to her, a wry smile on my face. "Nothing's gonna make it a miserable wreck. So don't you dare apologise," I said to her. "If anything, I should be thanking you. I haven't had this much fun in ages." I went quiet, not knowing what else to say. It was Kesha's choice, I figured. She could either drop the topic and retreat back into herself, putting on a brave face and fighting her battles alone. Or she could keep talking about it. Whatever she chose, I'd listen. I sighed, not knowing what else I could say or do. I was always hopeless at finding the right thing to say, I usually opted for sticking to myself.
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Post by KM loves MUSIC and PEANUT!!!! on Feb 7, 2012 4:59:01 GMT -5
I didn't say anything for a long while after he spoke, I chewed my lip trying to figure this out. I did want to talk but the last time I had I ended up even more hurt. I looked around and and then looked side ways to him, I sighed and felt things stir inside me that was telling me to speak and another part the scared and ingured part snapping and whipping around screaming at me not to tell him anything. I ran a hand through my hair and sighed looking at him fully, I started to say something but closed my mouth and licked my lips. Inside I was working on what to say here and nothing was working and it was making me angry that I couldn't get the dang words out. I sighed again and let out a big deep breath, I blicked a few times trying to make my brain and mouth do as told. "Hiding means you can forget sometimes but talking can make something that's forgotten become real, embracing it can help but not if the person who helped you through it makes it worse in the end." I looked back down and thought that that sounded stupid, I also didn't think it was fair to drag him into this it wasn't his battle and I had to many I didn't need other people getting drug into my screwed up life. I looked at Will. "You may be lucky that someone never took the time, cause usually when they do its to hurt you, nothing brings you pain more then trusting someone and have them turn against you and use your own life as a weapon." I said and looked away rolling my eyes up at the sting of the memories. I smiled and laughed a hollow laugh. "Thanks for that and today was one of the only I have relaxed in a long time." I smiled and looked down before looking to him, "there are things in my past that almost no one can understand but give me a little time and maybe I'll you give you that chance to understand." I said and I meant it, life hadn't always been good to me but God had gave me a good gut feeling for things and I felt I could trust him or at least him the chance to know that real me.
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Post by Peanut Loves EVERYONE!! on Feb 7, 2012 5:38:24 GMT -5
I stayed quiet while Kesha thought to herself. I'd spoken my opinion, and now it was up to her what to make of the conversation now. Despite being worried about her, I still had to agree that today had been awesome. My insides were in conflict, part of me trying to forget this conversation and stay happy and giddy, the other half trying to convince me it wasn't right to be happy while anyone else was upset. I turned when Kesha spoke, and ruefully gave her a half smile. "I'd never want to forget anything that happened, even if it hurt," I said. "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, right?" I trailed off after that, it sounded stupid even to me. It was what I lived by though, as of right now anyway. It had sounded better in my head... "If they make it worse then they were never worth it," I said to her, glancing up. I choked on a laugh at what she said next. "Yeah, lucky..." I said sarcastically. I turned away then, sighing. How could it be a good thing that nobody ever bothered to take the time to get to know me? Sure, I'd had girlfriends, but none of them lasted. They all just wanted to get with me to brag about it, and I didn't even know why. I'd never once had someone care enough to let them know they loved me. "I don't know about that," I said to Kesha. "It's pretty d*mn painful when nobody wants to get to know you." I frowned to her then. She kept saying they'd used her own life against her, and I didn't know what that meant. "Did-" I stopped then, shaking my head. "Never mind," I muttered. I mustered a tiny smile at her, looking up. "I'll be ready to listen whenever you're ready to talk," I said gently to her. Glancing away, I thought over what she'd said. I was trying to put all the pieces together, struggling to make sense of it all. Had somebody betrayed her? Left her? Hurt her? I shrugged to myself and sighed, looking over at Kesha and studying her, but nothing revealed itself. I flicked my hair out of my face and frowned again. I hated being in the dark, and this was going to niggle at the back of my mind until I finally found out what had happened. I sighed, trying to shake away the dark thoughts and focus instead on the awesome day we'd had. Gus snorted softly to himself, and I looked up, wondering how far we had left. With a start, I realised we were more than halfway home. "Hm," I said to myself, looking back to try and find Jewel. She was walking along slowly behind us, head down and looking tired. "Following us wasn't such a good idea now, was it Jewelly?" I laughed. Her ears pricked up, then fell back down and she gave a soft sigh, as if asking when we were gonna be home. I smiled and shook my head, turning back around in my saddle.
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Post by KM loves MUSIC and PEANUT!!!! on Feb 7, 2012 6:17:20 GMT -5
I sighed and looked down and bit my lip and listened to him speak, he made a point but one I had a hard time keeping a hold on. I licked my lips and let my insides fight struggle for what would come out of my mouth, the scared, scarred and angry part screamed to stop talking, telling me to drop it and never bring it up again. But the part of me that survived by only a thread of life, the part that was trust, love and the happy bright girl I pretend to be. I cleared my throat and said. "That may true but sometimes life asks to much and you gotta forget or else you'll become just like the thing you survived and it ain't always easy to face up to it either." I said shaking my head I knew that if I had kept the pain close I would have become just like my dad angry and mean so I buried and faced a little at a time but then I found someone who wanted to help me get through it and accept and because of their screwing with my head that I now can't bring myself to truly trust anyone. Life was crazy, life was unfair but you just gotta hold and scream having all the fun along the way that you could but sometimes those screams were from pain and hurt and fear. I glanced at him and said. "Yeah they weren't worth it but it doesn't heal overnight or even over a year if someone really hurts you and the thing is you never know when someone is going to hurt you." I shook my head licking my lips thinking of everything that had happened the year before we moved here and thought that it had been the happiest dang day of my entire life when we left that city. It was even better then the day we walked out on my dad. I looked to Will and said. "I get that it can feel awful to have no one really want to be there or know you, but it hurts a hell of a lot more when they learn every peace of your life and then they betray it and you realize that everything they ever said to you was a lie." I swallowed hard I hated sounding so put off by trusting and letting people get close but it was how I felt and I had every reason to feel this way. I sighed and shook my head, I smiled when he said never mind. "Thanks." I whispered and wasn't sure he even heard me, I was thankful he didn't want to know to much or at least had the abiltiy to just leave it. I started thinking to myself and thought that maybe I wasn't being fair but there were things I was ashamed of, times I had been so stupid that even Lucy screamed at me and she never did that. I sat up straight and looked to Will after he sat forward again. "I'll make you a deal, it isn't fair that I am so bitter and distrustful to you, I don't know you and some would see that as a reason for me to be this way but I see it as a reason to give you a chance. Show me that I can trust you by next weekend and I'll tell you everything or at least as much as I can spare to you." I said with a smile and looked ahead as we were almost back to the academy.
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Post by Peanut Loves EVERYONE!! on Feb 7, 2012 19:51:50 GMT -5
I listened to Kesha talking and nodded, thinking it over. "True, I guess," I reluctantly agreed with her. I hated that something or someone had made her feel like that though. It would be awful having to deal with something of that magnitude, and the thought that she was dealing with it alone made me feel even worse. I'd always been the kind of person to talk out what my problems were, to sort through them with someone's help until it was all over. But I guess not everyone worked the same way, no matter what their issue was. "I know, it takes time," I said to Kesha gently. "But sometimes it takes even more time holding onto it alone. Don't be afraid to let people help you from time to time, even if you don't think they can help." I gave her a small smile and then nodded to what she said next. "I guess so," I said quietly. I'd never been in her position before, but if there was one thing I hated, it was people thinking their problems were worse than everyone else's. Some things were worse to different people. I could deal with pain and betrayal, I guessed, but I hated feeling like I wasn't worth anyone's time. I glanced away, taking a few long, deep breaths. No matter what Kesha thought and felt, nobody could tell me that their problems hurt more than what I'd had. Or never had, I guess. "Everybody thinks their own mountains are higher," I murmured, more to myself than to Kesha. I sighed and nodded when she thanked me for not delving any deeper. "Yeah," I said simply, glancing over to her and away again. When she spoke again, I turned back to her. I gave her a little smile, and nodded. "Sounds fair to me," I said, a little part of me warming to the fact that maybe I'd somehow convinced her to share her burden. Gus whipped his head as the first fences and buildings came into view, and I looked to Kesha. "Wanna give these guys a trot back to the stables?" I asked her. Gus was snorting and pulling now, and I knew it was bad habit to let horses run towards home, but he wanted to get his energy out and I didn't want to hold him back again. My hands were already aching from trying to keep him at a walk. I glanced back behind us just as Jewel summoned the last of her energy to burst into a peppery trot, and she disappeared in the direction of the barn. I laughed, rolling my eyes, and looked to Kesha.
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Post by KM loves MUSIC and PEANUT!!!! on Feb 7, 2012 22:35:29 GMT -5
I sighed and sat back in my saddle thinking about everything he said, and he was right but when you are betrayed by allowing someone else to help you then you learn to keep it all to your self, I licked my lips and rolled my head. It didn't really matter if he was right or not I felt how I felt and I had every d*mn right to feel that way, I wasn't mad at him I was mad at myself for feeling that way and putting myself in a sitution where I would end up with a reason to feel that way. I blew out a deep breath and said. "Your right but three times burned twice shy." I shook my head and looked at him, studying him. Would he ever be ableto understand the hardships us street kids went through? Did I want someone to understand? Or did I just want someone to agrue with? I shook my head at myself and tried to think of something to say, finally I looked down and sighed. "If someone ever gets close enough to you and learns everything there is, then yeah your lucky but..." I bit my lip looking down, "but when you find out that they never met anything that they wanted use you for their own game and never really cared... It... Makes it really hard to be open and to trust again." I shook my head and then added. "I used to trust, I used to be open, but... It is really hard to trust again... I have tried but most people as soon as they find out what is truly in my past either pity me or are disgusted." I said and I couldn't help but let the hurt and anger leak into my voice, I spent my entire life trying to be the happy perfect teenager everyone wanted to see wanted to believe really exsited they didn't want to see where I came from. They didn't want to know that my drunk of a father beat me so bad that had scars on my back or that the scar on my cheek came from a broken beer bottle. Or that my sisters back was covered in scars because she took almost all the beating for me. I closed my eyes and lowed my head trying to keep them out of my head. No one wanted to know that I let someone trick me and use me and give me even more of a horrible past. No one wanted me to d*mnage their perfect little world. I nodded and looked to Will. "Good and yeah Sash still wants to go." I said with a smile, right before I let Sash trot ahead I said. "I don;t think my mountains are bigger then anyone elses cause I've met others and their pasts made even me cringe." I said and kicked Sash into a slow canter.
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